Your perfection lives in the bottom notes, trust me, they matter

Feb 24, 2020

I can think of two specific times in my life where I tried to define perfection.

The first time I was 12. I thought if I wore the clothes, listened to a certain type of music and used the slang of the popular girls I would be popular. What actually happened was my awkwardness became more apparent. (Similar to seeing someone walk in heels when they've never worn them.)
The second time I tried to define perfection was in my career. I sat behind a computer screen with excel opened, creating formulas to predict my salary over the next 10 years. I was 22 and had no idea where my career would lead. My formula produced a chart where my salary went neatly up and to the right.
I met my career goals in 8 years instead of 10 but by no means was it the simple straight line I created as a recent college graduate.
A few years ago I fell in love with the classical arrangement "2 Arabesques: Arabesque No. 1." I listen to Amazon classical playlists and every time this plays I instantly feel at peace.

The first time I watched this I was struck by how much this looked like a graph I was all too familiar with; my own life. The piece is filled with chaotic ups and downs that come together to create beauty, the lower points producing the richest parts.

After seeing this I delved further. Who was this Debussy and how did he think? Naturally, that led me to a google search for quotes by him. I always feel more connected to people through words and this quote stuck out to me, as if it was written just for me.

I have long since abandoned my perfectly formulated charts and instead followed my heart because there is no formula for the richness and beauty that comes from the stumbles, the scrapes, the heartaches, and the joy. It's a combination of the two, playing off of one another, that makes my unique song.

When I hear this song I feel peace and I believe it's because I have learned to embrace my own ups and downs and see my journey as just that, mine.
Dear reader, this song is my gift to you. Your perfect lives in the chaos and your ability to see the meaning behind it. Don't dwell in the low notes, realize they are only for a moment and will crescendo into something truly great. Just keep going.

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